The next Children in Need, Matt Lucas’ Vicki Pollard and will come face to face with Catherine Tate’s Lauren. Furthermore, they will swap catchphrases. Tenner on it.

It’s a good scam, making a series like 24. It’s a load of old pony, really, but once you start watching you have to carry on. The suspension of disbelief required is, um, beyond belief, but still the format of the programme compels. The hero, unlike the villain, can’t even pronounce the word “nuclear”. Mind you, neither can the leader of the Free World.

Bloody hell. Big Brother is on again. Seems only 5 minutes since I was finally freed of the misery last time round. The prospect of weeks trying to avoid E watching shrieking inadequates fills me with the kind of dread normally reserved for under-achieving Chinese fridge factory managers during their annual performance review.

Fantastic. Only seconds after winning the European Cup, Gerrard comes up with one of the classic footy phrases – up there with “over the moon” and “sick as a parrot”. How do you feel having come back from 3 – 0 down at half time to win? “It hasn’t sunk in yet.”

Good grief. I just finished watching the Sky coverage re-run because Sky Plus failed to record to the end of the ITV showing: twice. The first time it stopped mid-way through the second half of extra time, which was annoying enough, but when I set it to record the ITV re-run at 1.05, it stopped half way into the penalty shoot-out! Call me cynical, but it’s almost like Sky were punishing me for watching the ITV coverage instead of their own.

No better illustration of why I wanted to watch ITV instead is needed than the way Sky ended the programme. Stone me if they didn’t cough up the hairball that was Sean Connery doing a William Shatner style spoken version of The Beatles’ “In My Life”. Teeth-grindingly bad.

Is it just me, or is the Open University going down in the world? Back in the 70s when my Dad was doing his course, the programmes were famous for the lecturers wearing inadvisable ties and having scare cut hair cuts, horrific glasses and beards. But the subject matter was pretty damned chewy. I recall trying to figure out the one about topography, but then maths was never my strong suit. All I remember is the deal about adding a handle to a teapot making it topologically distinct from a torus, or something. I forget.

But anyway, from the sublime to the ridiculous: where it used to be “Foundation Stage Relativistic Doppler Effect Calculations” or whatever, today I found myself catching the end of the splendiforous “Ever Wondererd About Cheese?”…

Just listened to the last episode of That Mitchell and Webb Sound. Very funny. That lead to a google for Olivia Coleman and guess what it said? Green Wing is coming back for a second series! Woo hoo!

Is it just me, or does MSG (or something else in some Chinese food) give me really wacky and sometimes really unpleasant dreams? We were celebrating a birthday last night, and had a really good Chinese in Sawston at the Jade Fountain but the dreams, the dreams! Yeesh. Horrid. I don’t feel like I slept at all. Bizarre.

On another note, now I have to decide whether I’m going to try and stay up for the Superbowl (coverage starts at 10pm here in the UK) or just do the dance of avoiding news broadcasts and watch it tomorrow. I’ll probably watch it live at least part-way: not to be a pessimist, but I reckon perhaps Brady’s team will have it sewn up by halftime anyway.

I swear I just saw Christopher Ryan – the bloke who played Mike in The Young Ones, advertising life insurance. Makes a change from June Whitfield, I suppose…

Well I meant to write this yesterday and then just got so tired I was early to bed. Saw a programme on my beloved History Channel which included stuff about the St. Francis Dam Disaster. So the song by Frank Black was based on truth! Great song. It characterises the water as a person: “She had a desire to flow” which gives it a hard edge which no number of superlatives could. It doesn’t stop there, though; now I know what Ole Mulholland on Teenager of the Year is about, too. He really likes his L.A. history.

A quiet night in with some pretty good Chinese food and the last 2 NFL Wildcard games. Trying to take my mind off the impending surgery. It worked, more or less. Games weren’t too good, though – predictable and not too close. Certainly proved that the Colts were just toying with the Broncos last week, or maybe even by letting them win they knew they’d have an easy start to the playoffs?

Also playing a bit of the old Black and White on the new laptop. God, it’s a good game (no pun intended). Mind you, having read a tip-sheet it would appear that the fact my creature is a fat bastard is in fact not such a good thing :->