But no, not Professor Lord Winston, EXPERT, for having a daft tash and being the only man alive who can make Jonathan Miller look like a self-effacing wallflower, but some jockey or other.

Funny, Winston’s TV programme about personality types has a cod Cosmopolitan-style tester online. I came out of it as a Big Thinker. Ha! The blurb reads like a horoscope - platitudinous: no doubt none of the 16 possible types are described as “dim-witted tossers” :->

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