Totty
Now what was the first thought through your head when you read that title? I bet it wasn’t positive. Now imagine it’s the name of a club night. Hmmmm.
OK, keep the imagination going. It’s a club night for singles in Manchester. Good grief. Is it just me, or is the word “totty” not a bit, well, inappropriate given the circumstances? I mean, what single woman over 30 would be happy to class herself as “totty”? And just how “over 30″ do you have to be to want to have a “good boogie”? There’s a Jeremy Hardy skit about having “a bit of a bop” that’s just the thing here - it’s the nightclub equivalent of a cardigan and a tube of Preparation H. Whether it’s for your Johnny Giles or your crow’s feet is between you and the Woman’s Weekly.
But sneering aside (ha!) the biggest obstacle is left till last: you must be single but you must be able to drag a similarly-minded person of the opposite sex to this thing. If I could persuade single women to go out with me to a club where there will not only be boogie but there will be a few drinks, I wouldn’t need to go to a singles club, would I? Um, I mean, “one”. One wouldn’t, would one?
Maybe it’s all an elaborate double-bluff. Perhaps the idea is to cop off with the very person you dragged along, after showing what a pathetic shower the other boogie-havers really are. Clever…